Saturday, July 22, 2006

Letting Go Of Anger

Anger can make us feel good for a little while. When we are angry we are often feeling self-righteous, critical, judgemental and we have someone to blame for our own problems. However, anger can easily turn to hatred and this can lead to us doing and saying things we really did not mean to. It can also drain our vital energy and leave us feeling drained and washed out. Long term anger is likely to have a detrimental effect on our liver, adrenal and nervous system, experts say, not to mention our relationships with those around us.

If we can be honest with ourselves, what we are really angry about is that something has happened that we did not want to happen, or we did not get our own way, or things did not turn out the way we wanted them to.
It could be that we caught someone out in a lie and we became angry.
though at times people can make you real mad! oh yes.

But whatever the reason for our anger, we have to take responsibility for it, because we are the one who became that way. When we get stuck in anger, we can not see clearly the opportunities that are all around us all the time. We live in a big world full of choices and possibilities. When we become angry, we think that we know the way things should be and what is right and just.

To release our anger we need to be aware of a few truths

No one ever said that life was fair - sometimes unfair things do happen.
The only certainties in life are death and change. We live in a dynamic and ever changing world, so things around you are going to change.
When you accept change as a part of life you stop clinging to having things the same all the time and you can easily move on when change occurs.

If you loose your job, you see it as an opportunity to move on, meet new people and develop new skills.

If your partner leaves you, you have the opportunity to learn about yourself, your likes and dislikes, you have the opportunity to grow and develop and look after yourself. You can find ways to fall in love with life and living and then you will never feel lonely.

No matter what happens to you there is always opportunities around you. Sometimes horrible things happen, like the death of a loved one. If something like this happens we need time to grieve and then we must let go and move on and find ways to enjoy our lives again. It can seem tough and it is, but time will heal.

But for most things in life we simply need to take a deep breath, be prepared to move out of our comfort zones, and look around and embrace the new experiences coming our way. And then we do not have to be angry because something has not gone as planned. We will know that every supposed set back is an opportunity for us to learn and grow, to practice forgiveness and compassion and unconditional love.

When we can accept and embrace change, instead of reacting with anger, life really can become an exciting and grand adventure!


Heidi said...

Great posting..It's a print and keeper :)

starry nights said...

So true. sometimes it is hard not to get angry and sometimes change is hard.good points.

Kuan Gung said...

Great discussion...why anger, it's tougher for the bearer then the person directed's too heavy a burden for me...thank you

Arti Honrao said...

I agree wid all that u say here ...
If u've checked my blog properly u'll know that I hv discussed abt Anger too.
I believe that keeping it in check is very essential ... for relation wid others and most importantly for our own health!


Anand said...

Grt post on anger..although am a not a short tempered person...this does help me...

Keshi said...

very true...learn from our experiences w.o. being bitter abt em.

But Anger is also good for's healthy to feel anger every now n then as long as it's not destructive. Cos anger maked u strive for the best next time.


Darius said...

Well said, and covers a lot of ground. I think anger, in all its manifestations, including inner complaining, resentment, vengefulness - there are so many "varieties" - is an extremely destructive force. Of the self, spiritually; and often of others physically.

There's a place for anger, but I think it's very limited and 99% of the time our anger does no good. People often point to Jesus turning over the tables in the temple - but it's not like he was doing that every day, or constantly muttering to himself about getting even with those moneychangers!

Ebun said...

This is a good post on anger. I can't count how many times I've been angry but one thing I try not to do is stay angry for so long. Like the bible said to let the sun go down on your wrath. God help me to accept what I can't change.

samuru999 said...

Thanks for this great post!
I may get a little angry...
but, never stay angry!
Anger can kill a soul if you
keep it!

christabelle said...

hi guys, thks for stopping by, I've not bn around much lately, guess I've bn a bad blogger of some sorts or is there anything like that! ha!!

Anyway I missed u all very much.
I really appreciate all ur comments.

love y'all!!

Orikinla Osinachi. said...

But what of righteous angst?

The boiling anger in the Niger Delta can melt the clouds above our heads.

God said we can be angry, but we must not sin. And our anger should not last till the nightfall.

Remember His words:
"Be angry but sin not"?

God bless.

christabelle said...

osinachi, the anger in the Niger Delta can NEVER be a righteous one, that anger has taken a very dear brother and friend of mine away, cut short in the prime of youth, whatz righteous abt that?
no mata how just their cause is, it shouldnt lead to killing of innocent and patriotic citizens who r trying to do their best for their fatherland.